Look Slimmer, Stand Taller, Feel Younger

Oh where to begin. You might think I pulled this out of an old LOOK magazine but I didn't. It was stuffed in last Sunday's coupon section. Instead of "Look Slimmer" it should say "Look Like Your Torso Is Being Squeezed Out Of A Toothpaste Tube." Lose 25 pounds as it slowly cuts off the blood supply to your lower digestive tract. Apparently side effects may include dead eyes, Michael-Jackson-nose, and a bad neckache. Celebrity John Schneider from the Dukes of Hazzard endorses it so it must be good. Without it, Bo Duke would look like Boss Hog. And look at that lifelike illustration to the right. Can you see the the progression? From pooch to perky "right away!" Act now because the last batch of slimmers was made in 1968 and they're nearly gone. I feel for the agency that created this advertisement. Apparently it was so effective that Cosmetic Laboratory Sales never felt compelled to update it. As they say "The best ads leave agencies with nothing more to do."

Red Velvet Cake

Heather introduced me to Red Velvet Cake a few years ago. She's made it for each child's first birthday. RVC is a southern dessert with deep red color, a little cocoa, Crisco (not butter) and a slightly bizarre white frosting recipe (cold butter combined with sugar and cooked milk and flour cooled to room temperature). Then there's the ritualistic sprinkling of baking soda over the cake batter and the splashing of apple cider vinegar over the top to make it fizz. Oh, and don't forget the two bottles of red food dye. Not one bottle, two bottles. One time Heather skipped the second bottle of dye and a RVC connoisseur from Texas glanced at it and dismissed it by saying "That's not red cake." And never ever put nuts on your red cake (I'm talking to you Bobby Flay). Heather's mother heard she made RVC cake this weekend and said "I just want to go to the store and get the ingredients to make some."

Heather is a little annoyed with the recent popularity of RVC. Its not that she wants to horde it all to herself, rather she complains that no one makes it right. "Cream cheese, pu-leeeeze!"

Heather says you either love RVC or you hate it. I guess I'm the exception to the rule - its a fine cake but it doesn't hold a candle to German chocolate cake. The chocolate, the coconut, the nuts . . . that's what I want for my birthday.

Juliet @ One

Happy Birthday Juliet! I snapped these photos after returning from the mall. Heather spent the day practicing for Thanksgiving (see post below) so we postponed cutting the Red Velvet cake until after dinner. But half the family was asleep before we could cut the cake so we'll cut it tomorrow and snap some more pics .

All our babies have been wonderful and Juliet is no exception. We always believed that infants have to learn to sleep in their own beds and Christian and Erika learned that lesson pretty quickly. But somehow Juliet seems to make it to our bed more than the other kids - about 50% of the time. I think there's a secret part of Heather ignoring how to train Juliet to sleep in her own bed. She knows Juliet is our last baby and she won't be nursing her for much longer. I suspect Heather is subconciously extracting as many motherly moments as she can from our last child, and I don't blame her one bit.

Good Saturday Morning

This is the first Saturday in a long time when I had nothing planned. Usually, I have some enormous project and only eight hours of energy to complete it. But today? Nothing to do but coast until Juliet's One Year Birthday Party. I was completely rested by 4:30 a.m. but laid in bed for another hour just because I thought it would be wierd to rummage around the house so early in the morning. Then I washed the cars, worked in the yard a bit, ran some errands, and polished-off the box of Boo-Berry cereal. The box was too kitschy to throw out so I cut the face off the front of it, added some elastic and made some holes for the eyes. I thought the kids would love it, but Heather was the only one willing to wear it long enough for a photo.

The kids were in a great mood too. Everyone was anxious to eat Heather's Red-Velvet Cake but would have to wait until later. Heather is in charge of the Thanksgiving turkey this year so she thought she'd practice by making a complete Thanksgiving dinner. Yup. I had Thanksgiving dinner today and it was nearly perfect. I say nearly perfect because she grabbed the salted consumme instead of the unsalted and the gravy turned out, well, salty. The turkey was cooked to perfection. She's going to add an apricot ginger glaze/chutney to the mix on Thanksgiving day. Can't wait.

While Heather cooked, I took the kids to the mall for a little early Christmas shopping. I came away with some good ideas for Heather but strangely, for all the time we spent in the toy store, the kids added nothing to Santa's list. Unless they start expressing their desires, I'm gonna re-gift that lump of coal I received last year.

Christian is doing much better. He has no signs of last week's strep. Yesterday he submitted a picture of his latest creation (not pictured) to Lego's monthly newsletter. They feature a handful of kids and their Lego spaceships each month. I'll let you know if he makes it.

The Longest Halloween

When did Halloween become as great a commitment as Christmas? Retailers put Halloween decorations for sale on August 1st. Kids hit the pumpkin patches in early October. Halloween parties begin in the middle of the month. Church, school and friends all throw parties. The building where I work sponsors a costume contest. We added a trip to Disneyland's Halloween Time and reached complete Halloween saturation by October 29th. I was done, done, done with Halloween two days ago. I braced myself for the local school's Halloween Bash and for Halloween itself.

But then Christian fell ill in the middle of the night with a terrible stomach ache and a low fever. Heather was wiped out taking care of Juliet so I spent much of the night with Christian. He missed the school bash and was in sad shape Halloween day. He rallied in the afternoon and carved his first pumpkin start to finish with minimal help from dad. See below - second from the right. Come time to don his outfit, Christian fell sick again and just couldn't go trick or treating. I took Erika out with the neighborhood kids and she had a great time.

Funny thing - I lost Erika for a minute. She and another 4 year old neighbor named Josh ran ahead and became mixed up with another group of trick or treaters. I found them in front of an old woman's house and dragged them back to our group. We returned to the same old woman's house a few minutes later but Erika and Josh wouldn't leave the woman's porch. I approached and poor Josh was crying loudly pacing back and forth on the porch. Erika looked stunned. The woman looked at me and said "They've been here before - only one per child." I politely chortled "Oh yeah, they got mixed up in another group that was here before and now their back, sorry abou. . ." She interrupted me and repeated "Only one per child, I've seen this Red Riding Hood and Superman before." By then Erika was walking away but Josh was so distraught he kept crying on the Grinch's porch. She looked at him again and said "Only one per child." Really lady? Are your Smarties that precious? The kid is bawling in your face, obviously doesn't understand why everyone except him walked away with candy, and you're going to stand on principle? Fine. On the way home I saw Heather with Christian. Apparently he rallied and hit a few homes before retiring to bed. At the end of the night I told Heather about the Halloween Grinch. Her reply? She sighed and said dismissively "Old people."

UPDATE: Someone stole four of our five pumpkins. Okay, so maybe some kids threw them down the hill or squashed them on the street but I searched and found no evidence of such hijinks. They are just gone. I suspect the paperboy. Erika was nearly unconsolable when she found them missing.

Halloween Time At Disneyland

Heather described Halloween Time at Disneyland as "The longest candy line eh-ver." Disney closes California Adventure at 5:00 pm, pushes out all the guests, and then reopens from 6:30 to 10:30 pm for all the costumed guests. The event was sold out but not too crowded. Disney cast members stuff handfulls of candy in the kids baskets. Erika loved her red velvet cape which grandma sewed for her. We feared the kids would conk out before 10:30 but they made it to the very end.

Daft Punk Is Playing At My House, My House

I was never a big fan of Daft Punk until 1) I heard LCD Soundsystem's song Daft Punk Is Playing At My House which caused me to give them a second look; and 2) I saw them at Coachella. All they did was DJ atop a lighted pyramid. I couldn't tell whether they were actually doing something because their hands were hidden behind the staging. But it was the best show that weekend by a mile. Here's a Youtube clip that does not do the concert justice, but you get the idea. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a5dBJDz2vs . I have yet to buy one of their albums but I'm a fan of their songs Robot Rock and Technologic. I'm also a big fan of their robot helmets. You can buy an official replica for $65,000 (no kidding) or you can make your own for $30 with a little cardboard, acrylic, and body filler.


I downloaded some cardboard patterns and started making my own. Patterns can be found here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmbMj-NFFQg&feature=fvsr . Normally I would have used Bondo but I discovered a new lightweight premium body filler name Rage Gold. I love this stuff. Easy to mix, easy to sand, dries quickly with fewer pinholes, and stays cool (Bondo heats up when it cures). I made the helmet Christian is wearing in this website's splash page out of paper maiche. Then I graduated to paper and spackle and made the Boba Fett helmet. http://nelsonsinspace.blogspot.com/2008/10/boba-fett-fini.html . But nothing beats this body filler. I'm already looking for another project to use this stuff again. Any suggestions?