Please Don't Eat Me

Erika is clearly praying that Br'er Fox doesn't take a bite out of her. Click on the photo and look at those upturned eyebrows. She's obviously thinking "Show no fear, they can smell fear, show no fear" while Christian politely smiles and thinks "Yeah, not my favorite character, where's Mickey?" Summer 2008, Disneyland.

Rrrriiiiiiiiiiight

Christian came home from school last year wearing this headdress. My automatic reply was, "Reaaally? We pay real money for him to go to this school, don't we?" I'm just being sarcastic. Actually, I love this, this, this whatever it is. I've asked Christian and Heather and neither of them can explain it to me. A pineapple? A witchdoctor? Or is his face escaping from the mouth of a muppet? Is it even rightside up? I dunno but I love it. Even better is the matter-of-fact expression on his face. "Yeah, I made this, take it or leave it."

Swimming at Descanso Gardens

If you've never been to Descanso Gardens in La Canada Flintridge, then go. Great cafe, a nice little shop, and beautiful gardens. http://www.descansogardens.org/site/home.cfm Its easy to pass an entire afternoon walking through the gardens or watching the children ride the enchanted railroad. Tired of looking at plants? Then do as Christian did - take a swim. We began our afternoon by ordering lunch. As Heather made the order, Christian played on the rocks around the pond until kersplunk, he fell headlong into the pond. The whole thing happened in slow motion. A woman next to him jumped in up to her leg right after him and dragged him out of the water. With no change of clothes I took Christian out to the parking lot, stripped him down in the van, wrung out his clothes, and laid them out on the hot pavement until they were just barely damp. We returned to the scene of the accident to snap the top shot. Still chilled but happy to have survived the dunk, Christian agreed to preserve the moment on film forever. When asked about it now he says "It really, really, really was not fun." I tried to find that heroic woman who plucked him from the murky depths and buy her lunch but she was long gone. The second shot of Grandma and Grandpa was taken in Pasadena at about the same time as our trip to Descanso.

Monster Bash Bashes Nelsons

Loma Portal Elementary had its annual Monster Bash on Friday night and the Point Loma Ward had its annual chili cook-off/costume contest/pumpkin carving contest/cookie contest on Saturday night. The two events had several things in common - costumed kids, contests, and lots of mayhem. The kids couldn't get enough of the chaos. Star Wars characters were big this year as evidenced by the many store bought costumes. The new Star Wars/Clone Wars cartoon spawned a lot of, well, clones. Christian was the only X-Wing Pilot which made him a star. Last year Christian donned a space shuttle suit because he wanted to be an astronaut. Then he realized that space shuttle astronauts wear the same uniform as Luke Skywalker as he destroyed the Death Star in Episode IV, A New Hope (better known as the first Star Wars). Add a light saber, gloves, snowboots, sidearm and a paper maiche helmet and the costume was complete. He received high praise for having a homemade costume. Erika pretends to be a kitten 90% of the time so her costume choice was easy. A long-sleeve leotard from Capezio, whiskers, tale, and ears were like catnip to her. Heather manned the photo booth from 7:30 to 8:00. For a measly 8 carnival tickets, I paid her to take the two photos above. Now its Sunday and our ears are still damaged from two nights of screeches, screams and howls.

Fun With Boba

With the paint barely dry, Christian donned the helmet and immediately threatened to permanently encase Erika in carbonite. Mom, you can learn more about carbonite here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carbonite

Boba Fett Fini!

Boba Fett is finally complete. I found the plans at: http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-make-a-cardboard-costume-helmet/ . The paint was the hardest part. For the purists, yes I know the paint is a little different from the original. There's no rangefinder either but hey, how long do you think the cardboard rangefinder would have lasted with my 5 year old?

May It Never Go Away

If your a big fan of the sun like I am, then check out:

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/10/the_sun.html

I hope it never finds another planetary system it likes more than ours. That would break my heart.

Snowy Surprise

When Christian was 2 1/2 his world revolved around Thomas the Train. I only have myself to blame. No, I take that back. I blame Heather one hundred percent. Sure, I made him a table for his train set but she bought him those incessantly cheerful Thomas videos. His favorite? Thomas' Snowy Surprise. He must have watched that plucky Thomas pull his friends out of an avalanche a dozen times before a lightbulb went off in his head - baby powder looks like snow. He dumped an entire bottle all over his train set and down the front of his outfit. Thomas' Snowy Surprise just became Mommy's Snowy Nightmare. Actually, it was so funny that we couldn't stop laughing during the "perp walk" (when we snapped this photo).

Sand In My Shorts

Today I came home to a pile of sand at the top of the stairs. No one loves sand more than Erika. A day at the beach or the playground always yields enough silica to construct a dozen solar panels. It just pours from her shoes, her clothes, her ears and her hair. No wonder really. The first thing she does when she comes in contact with sand is to hug it as if it were her favorite blanket. After a lengthy embrace, she begins sampling it with her tongue - "Hmmm, this brand of sand may be light in color but bold in oceany goodness with strong Maui notes and a hint of Cabo. A very fine blend indeed." She has to brush her teeth less when she samples sand and I suppose it supplies some good dietary roughage too.

This Polaroid Land Camera shot was taken in Laguna Beach, Summer 2007, when Erika was about 1 1/2.

Another Holgarific Post

Here's another Holgaroid taken maybe two years ago. Christian and his cousin Annicka at Mimi and Papi's cabin in Mt. Shasta. Okay, so the tree and the house are crooked and Christian's foot disappears at the bottom of the photo. To those unfamiliar with the Holga you might ask why so many obvious mistakes? Any amateur with a digital camera and a little sense could frame a better photo. Well, there is nothing automatic with the Holga. Funny enough, it does have a switch for day and night settings but if you take it apart you learn that the switch is not connected to anything. Flip the switch and nothing, I tell you nuttin' happens. Also, the viewfinder is mounted on top of the camera and does not look through the lens. Even if it did, the Polaroid back covers the viewfinder.

Remember the basement scene from Silence of the Lambs where Clarice is in pitch black and the serial killer Jame Gumb is stalking her with night vision goggles? Gumb sees Clarice stumbling around, eyes dialated, shaking her gun in front of her. Well, that's how it feels to shoot with a Holgaroid. You're never sure what your aiming at and you're lucky if you shoot anything at all.

Pretend

Here's another old Polaroid of Erika. Today she pretends to be a cat, or a dog, or a baby jaguar - all reasonable things to pretend. However, when she was two years old she used to pretend to be dirty laundry. At least that's what I figured. What else can explain the constant fascination with laying in the laundry basket?

Storm Trooper Love

I know there's been a lot of posts about Star Wars lately but let's face it, The Clone Wars just debuted on the Cartoon Network and Thomas the Train is so yesterday. Christian drew this today entirely from memory. Oh, you don't think Strom Troopers carry lightsabers on their belts? Well, this just happens to be Luke dressed as a Storm Trooper from "A New Hope", silly.

Bespin On My Mind

Heather and I just finished reading Christian the mind numbing novellete "Crossfire." He loved every minute of it. Ask him what its about and he'll say "Jango Fett is dead and his son Boba finds himself on the toxic planet Raxus Prime under the control of Count Dooku (aka Tyranus) and his henchmen Cydon Prax. Boba escapes with the aid of CT-4/619 and CT-5/501 who work for General Glynn-Beti. Boba adopts the alias Orphan Teff and befriends Garr. Glynn-Beti and his padawn Ulu Ulix show Boba around the starship Candaserri. After a failed spacewalk, Boba abandons the Candassari at Bespin and confronts Aurra Sing the bounty hunter who stole his ship. Aurra knows where Boba's father Jango hid his treasure but can't open it without Boba's DNA so the two reach a tet a tet. The End." Sound clunky? Christian's recitation is sheer poetry compared to the actual book.

Owen Magic Supreme

I own several Owen pieces. I hope to periodically catalog a few of them in this blog. If you're interested in high quality collectible magic, then tune in. Here's a link to their website.

http://www.owenmagic.com/

Go To Bed Already

Christian and Erika have always been good at going to bed. They're great sleepers too. But like vampires they come alive at night. At least vampires stop when you drive a stake through their hearts. Not so with our two Lucha Libre stars. The darker it gets the more they run, chase, and bump into each other. Meanwhile, our energy levels are plummeting. Christian has lifted the lyrics from "Last Day of Magic" and labeled Erika "little tornado" while calling himself "little hurrican-o", and the hours between 6 and 8 p.m. are official disaster zones. Oh, you think reading a bedtime story might calm them down? By the second page they're tickling each other until someone loses their breath. By page three someone is in a wrestling hold. Thank goodness they can drag themselves to bed because we can barely lift a finger by the end of the story.

Able Bakers

In order to feed our gambling habit, we've had to force the kids into selling baked goods. Its easy really. Just put those adorable kids behind a card table filled with cupcakes and cookies and a placard announcing their cause. Any cause will due. "Stop Feline Cold & Flu Now" seems to generate a lot of cash. Here's a tip - maximize your profits by using shredded newspaper instead of oatmeal for your "Grandma's Secret Oatmeal Cookie Recipe" or use it as bran in your "Healthy Bran Muffin Tops."

Jello In The News

After years of complaining "there's not enough Jello in the news" Heather decided to do something about it. She embarked on a letter writing campaign to the local Union-Tribune until they buckled under the pressure of her grassroots effort. It only took one letter. Eager to create a story about how local residents are penny pinching during these tough economic times, the UT jumped at the chance to interview this struggling mother of two who fills the empty bellies of her starving children on coupon-bought Jello. To our surprise, there was not a run on Jello at the grocery store upon publication of the article.

These desserts were as delicious as they looked, especially the cherry Jello in the front. Don't blame Heather for the 10 pound, multilayered, cylindrical behemoth on the right. That ridiculous idea was mine alone, and executed flawlessly by Heather however its gravity nearly pulled Erika out of Heather's arms.

Self Portraits

Two self portraits by Erika using different medias - the top obviously conveying the glee she feels when she plays with her Calico Critters and the bottom the boredom of yet another Yogi Bear rerun. As Christian spends his energy on photorealism, Erika spends her time in the more profitable abstract realm.

May The Force Be With You

Luke and R2D2 never looked so good. Christian once again proves his chops with this excellent example of photorealism. Note that Luke only looks angry. Christian explained that Luke just got rid of some bad guys so he's actually happy.

Saturday Night Bath

Big footed, long tongued, be-goggled, squeaky clean aliens.

Never Really Been A Fan

I read that Criss Angel's new Las Vegas stage show bombed. He Cirqued-the-show-up creating a bad mix of schlock magic and annoying theater. Cirque du Soleil used to be a unique, interesting theatrical side show that was only shown under the big top. Then Vegas grabbed ahold and placed a Cirque show on every corner of the strip. Even the corn dog crowd began to say "enough." Criss jumped on the Cirque bandwagon just after the wheels fell off. Now if only his television show could disappear. I can only stomach a few minutes of that show at a time, and every time I've watched it I've seen cuts, recuts, and dozens of stooges pretending to be amazed. Its criminal to shoot a nice trick (yes I said "trick" instead of "illuuuusion") and catch the audience's genuine surprise, and then re-shoot and re-do the trick to make it look better for post-production. As for me, I prefer "real magic", the kind that can be performed live in person, in a parlour, or on a stage. Magic needs an infusion of sophistication. Need some guidance? It doesn't get much better than Channing Pollock, Norm Nielson, or Dale Salwak. Put your tuxes back on guys, and show some class again.

Dandies' Set List

Here's the set list from last night. Twenty-one songs on the list, maybe two more that were not included. Two hour plus show. How many bands play that long anymore? As enjoyable as the Raconteurs were last week, they only played for 45 minutes. The Dandies' catalogue is so deep they could have played another dozen songs without exhausting my favorites. No encore which I appreciated. Encores are annoyingly phony. I appreciate a band that says "alright, we've given you a great show, here's out last song." Great show.

The Dandy Warhols

I've seen the Dandies half a dozen times and they were never better than last night. They've always delivered a great show but last night's was their best yet. Scott and Tommy came along. Kudos to the sound mixer. We sat next to the board and he played that thing like a violin. Scott recently observed that most mixers are partially deaf due to constant touring so they unwittingly crank up the volume. Their damaged ears hear the music as if their wearing earplugs hence the best way to listen is to wear earplugs. Not so last night. The mix last night was spot on, never too loud, never muddled, and you could hear every note. The group has created their own Portland version of The Factory hosting artists and bands from around the world. This is their first tour on their own label, no doubt a difficult undertaking. I was concerned they were beginning to wear too many hats but I was proven wrong. Can't wait for their return.

http://www.dandywarhols.com/